A.K.A. Page 14

  We walk into the theater and sit in our usual seats. They’re located on one of ten rows of seats that have been retrofitted with cup holders.

  I look around. Twenty or so other patrons are scattered about the theater, most of them sitting in one of the retrofitted rows.

  “Since we missed dinner, how about some popcorn?”

  “Sounds good to me. But none—”

  “Of that artificial butter stuff, and cola, not diet cola,” Ethan says and smiles.

  I smile back as he stands, removes his hoodie, and drapes it on the back of his seat. “Can I get the Milk Duds now so I don’t have to go back and get them later?”

  “But I love making you leave in the middle of the best part.”

  He laughs.

  “Okay. I’ll let you enjoy the movie this one time.”

  He bows. “Thank you, my queen.”

  I roll my eyes as he makes his way down the row and out of the theater.

  I get out my phone and check for messages. I scroll though my text messages and find the one I sent him. I still don’t remember sending it, but it’s there.

  I shake it off because I don’t want to think about it at the moment. I want to enjoy the movie and my time with Ethan. I’m going to miss him so much. The thought of leaving him… I shut off my phone. I don’t even want to think about that. I don’t want to think at all.

  The lights dim, signaling the beginning of the previews.

  A minute into the first preview, a man and a woman sit in front of me.

  I watched as he leans over and whispers in her ear. Then he stands and looks at me. I freeze as he smiles my way before he makes his way down the row and out of the theater.

  When he’s out of sight, I let out the breath I’ve been holding.

  It was Terrance Thomas—a man who looks like Terrance Thomas. The one I’d seen at the market and at the bus stop and told myself I hadn’t.

  The woman takes out her cell, turns it off, and puts it back into her handbag. I don’t know her, have never seen her.

  I tap her shoulder.

  She turns and looks back at me.

  “Sorry, I know this is weird, but… is that man your husband?”

  She shakes her head. “No. Boyfriend. Why do you ask? Do you know him?”

  “He… I don’t know him. He looks like someone I knew. Can I ask you his name?”

  She hesitates.

  “I mean you no harm, it’s just… their resemblance is… surreal.”

  “His name is Shawn. Shawn Whitehouse.”

  “Have you known him long?”

  “Yeah. We’ve been working at the bank together for years, dating for one.”

  I nod.

  Ethan sits next to me and smiles her way.

  She smiles back.

  “Am I interrupting?” he asks.

  “No,” I tell him. “This is…”

  She holds out her hand. “Hanna.”

  They shake hands. “Ethan.”

  “Your…?”

  “Friend,” I tell her.

  “Your friend…?”

  “Bri,” I say.

  “Bri,” she repeats. “She says my boyfriend looks like someone she knew.”

  “Oh, yeah,” he replies. “Who?”

  I shake my head. “No one, just a man I… a man I knew in Maine.”

  Hanna’s boyfriend joins us. But it’s not him, not the man who looks like Terrance Thomas. His build and hair are the same, but that’s all.

  He looks our way.

  “This is Bri and Ethan,” Hanna tells him.

  He nods.

  Ethan holds out his hand.

  Shawn gives Hanna a tub of popcorn. Then he reaches for Ethan’s hand and they shake.

  “Bri says you look like someone she used to know.”

  “Oh yeah,” he says, sounding nothing like Terrance Thomas.

  When I don’t reply, Hanna says, “From Maine.”

  “I’ve never been to Maine, but I’ve heard it’s beautiful.”

  I remain silent, not able to form words.

  Ethan frowns my way and tells him, “Neither have I. Bri says the winters are long and cold. I think I’ll stick with cool and damp.”

  “I hear ya,” he says. The lights dim further. “Looks like the show’s about to begin,” Shawn says as he looks my way.

  I can only manage a nod.

  “Nice to meet you both,” he says and turns around.

  Ethan elbows me.

  I turn my head.

  “What the hell?” he whispers.

  I remain silent and give my attention to the screen.

  Two hours later, the ending credits begin to roll.

  Ethan leans over. “That was great.”

  I nod, even though I can tell him nothing about the movie. All I can think about is the man sitting in front of me, and the fact I’m losing my grip on reality.

  I swallow my tears as we exit the cinema and make our way toward Ethan’s jeep.

  He opens the door for me, and I get in. I’m running on empty, on autopilot. I’m terrified. I’m unhinged.

  “Bri? Did you hear me?”

  The Jeep has stopped. We’re parked underneath my carport. I didn’t even know we’d left the theater parking lot.

  “Yes,” I lie.

  He gets out and I follow.

  As I’m unlocking the side door, he says, “So?”

  I push open the door and remove the key.

  I step into the kitchen, and Ethan shuts the door behind us.

  He makes his way to the fridge and opens it. “I’m starving. How about you?”

  I nod. “Sure, I could eat,” I lie. I know I can’t keep anything down.

  I sit at the kitchen table as he gets out the makings for sandwiches.

  A few minutes later, he puts a plate in front of me and hands me a beer.

  He sits across from me. “So…?”

  “So… what?”

  “About next weekend. Did you decide if we’re going or not?”

  He’s talking about sailing with Mark and his newest boyfriend, Chad. I haven’t been on a boat since the night I disappeared. It’s risky to be associated with sailing, but I have to admit I’ve missed it terribly. The courtroom and being on a boat were where I felt most alive, and I need to feel alive.

  Before I can stop myself, I say, “Yeah, I think we should go.”

  “You’ll be okay?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your seasickness.”

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll take something or wear one of those bands.”

  “Do they work?”

  “I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out.”

  He smiles and reaches for my hand. “It will be good to get away. We haven’t been away since Portland.”

  I smile skips over my lips in remembrance. That weekend had been wonderful; it changed our relationship, pushed it to a new level.

  He lifts his beer. “To another unforgettable weekend.”

  I tap his bottle with mine. “Cheers.”

  I take a sip and swallow. “It won’t be Portland, but I think we could sneak away, lock ourselves in the cabin.”

  “We won’t need to do that. I’ve made us a reservation at the Moon Bay Spa.”

  I choke on my beer. It comes up and out of my nose.

  He laughs and hands me a paper towel. “I wanted it to be a surprise. Maybe it’s a good thing I told you.”

  I wipe my nose. “It’s an awesome surprise. I’ve heard it’s fantastic. Even from a distance, it looks incredible.” I reach over and squeeze his hand. “Thank you, Ethan. You have no idea how much I need a spa getaway.”

  “Kat said you’d mentioned you’d love to go there. I wanted to make this weekend special for you, so…”

  “Yeah, I was jealous when she told me about her spa weekend with Gary. It sounded heavenly.”

  He smiles.

  “What?”

  “Your smile.”

  “What about it?”<
br />
  “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful, Bri.”

  “So are you, Mr. Black.”

  He looks down at my untouched sandwich. “Not hungry?”

  I push it his way. “It’s all yours.”

  He picks it up and takes a huge bite. “Thanks,” he says with his mouthful.

  I roll my eyes and stand. “I think I’ll take a bath.”

  He swallows. “Okay.”

  I toss my empty beer bottle in the recycle receptacle and open the fridge. I remove a half-full bottle of wine and make my way to the bathroom.

  When I reach it, I shut the door behind me and walk to the tub. After I turn the water on, I watch it fill as I drink from the bottle.

  When the tub is almost full, I add bath salts and a few squirts of lavender bubble bath. Then I strip, tossing my clothes on the tile floor.

  After placing the bottle of wine on the floor next to the tub, I step in, sit, and stretch out my long legs.

  Hot water and the smell of lavender surround me. I lean my head back, close my eyes, and try not to think. After several minutes of thinking about not thinking, I give up and let my mind flow where it may.

  I’m in love with Ethan, and it’s breaking my heart. I can’t stay and let the chips fall as they may. I have no choice. I have to leave. I have to get help before my mind is completely gone.

  I know my fate. Despite all I’ve done to prevent it, it will be just like my dad’s. His love for my mother has ruined him for all others. His turbulent and dysfunctional relationships with women are a testament to the disastrous aftermath of a broken-beyond-repair heart.

  The thought of starting over, leaving this life, Ethan, and my friends behind makes me ill. But I have no choice.

  I sink lower, dunking my head. I hold my breath, enjoying the sensation of being cocooned by water and suds. When I can no longer hold my breath, I surface. As I’m wiping the suds off my face, I hear a soft knock on the door.

  I open my eyes. “Yes.”

  “Bri? Can I come in?”

  I should say no. I need to think and plan.

  “Bri? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  He enters and shuts the door behind him without waiting for my okay. But in all honesty, I’m not ready to plan my next life. I need to stay in this one, just a little bit longer.

  He strips, tossing his clothing on the tile floor next to mine.

  I unabashedly gawk at his perfect, tight behind. He turns, revealing his frontal perfection. It quickly swells under my gaze, and I can’t stop the smile that spreads over my lips.

  “You like?”

  I nod, sit up, and slide forward.

  He steps in and settles behind me.

  I rest my back against his chest and his swollen perfection.

  He nuzzles his nose into my wet hair, breathing in the fragrant lavender and shampoo. “So good,” he whispers.

  I close my eyes and relax.

  When strong, callused fingers begin to run up and down my arm, I don’t question it.

  When they make their way to my breasts and circle my nipples, I let them. When they pull and pinch my nipples to stand hard and erect like good little soldiers, I inwardly beg them to continue, to never stop.

  When they trail down my abdomen and over my navel before disappearing under suds, I hold my breath.

  When they stoke my clit before parting my sex, I stiffen, so afraid to move. So afraid it will end.

  At the brink of orgasm, his fingers pause, and I nearly come undone.

  “Ethan, please.”

  “Please what?”

  Sometimes I enjoy his need for control, but not now. I don’t want either one of us to be in control. I want us to let go and just enjoy.

  “Let me come, Ethan.”

  His fingers draw circles on my clit, and I come completely undone.

  “That’s it,” he whispers in my ear as I come on his fingers.

  I land, but from the feel of him against my backside, I know I’ll be taking off again, and soon.

  He pushes me forward, gets out of the tub, and grabs a towel.

  I stand without saying a word; he wraps it around me and picks me up.

  He walks into the bedroom and lays me down in the middle of the bed, then straddles me. “Perfect,” he whispers.

  My body might be perfect to him, but I’m far from perfect in body and mind in my own eyes. I’m flawed in ways I never thought I could be. And I’m afraid. So very afraid.

  I reach up and run my fingers down his hard, nearly hairless chest.

  My other hand joins in, and I explore with abandonment, until he’s hard putty in my hands.

  “No more,” he pleads.

  I run my hand down his hard cock one more time before I release it.

  Then he does something he’s never done before. He lies on his back and says, “Love me, Bri.”

  Shocked by this, I do nothing for several long beats. When he doesn’t move, I realize he’s serious. I sit up and straddle him.

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask because Ethan’s need to control during sex is deeply ingrained in him. I believe it to be the only way he can get off.

  He nods.

  I smile and gladly take this opportunity to show him he’s wrong.

  I line him up and sink down.

  He moans.

  I groan as I find a rhythm as old as time.

  I know it’s not easy for him. I see the fight, the tug of war in his eyes.

  He reaches out and grasps the sheet. It’s taking everything he has to keep himself from flipping me over and taking charge.

  I lean over and whisper in his ear, “I love you, Ethan Black. Come for me.”

  And he does, long, hard, and completely.

  NOT ALL PAWNS ARE CREATED EQUAL

  The next Friday was the beginning of three glorious days on the ocean.

  The moment the sails went up and caught the wind, everything seemed to right itself. I was Morgan Ann Steel again. I was the ADA who would someday be the DA. I was the woman who believed she’d change the world. I had a Porsche, a pool, and a dog named Hank. But most importantly, I had a half-sister who meant the world to me.

  The entire weekend has been a fairy tale, one where I’m the queen. I don’t want it to end. I look down at my left hand and a smile takes over my face.

  I brush my windblown hair out of my eyes and catch my fiancé taking me in.

  He smiles and my heart fills beyond full.

  Gary throws him a beer, breaking our moment, but it’s okay. I’m good. I know I’ll have a lifetime of moments, a lifetime of taking him in.

  I pull my jacket tighter and lie down on the deck. I look up at the white sails and the blue sky and think about my childhood. The many times I’ve done this very same thing, lie on the deck and look up at the sky as the sails catch the wind and take me away to a different part of the world, a new adventure.

  Kat walks up and hovers about me. “What are you doing?”

  I pat the deck next to me.

  She lies down, and after a minute, she says, “Wow. It’s a whole different way to look at the world.”

  I close my eyes, enjoying the sun on my face.

  “You look happy, Bri.”

  “I am.”

  “The happiest I’ve even seen you.”

  I turn my head and look at her. “I still can’t quite believe it. I have to pinch myself now and then.”

  She sits up and looks over at Gary and Ethan. “He loves you.”

  “I know.”

  She looks at me. “That’s not the way I meant it.”

  I sit up. “Meant what?”

  “I mean he really loves you. That head-over-heels kind of love.”

  I look at Ethan, and I know she’s right. “This is going to sound crazy, but I feel as if we are somehow connected.”

  “You are, you’re engaged.”

  I shake my head. “Not in that way, in some other way that I can’t figure out. Maybe we met bef
ore, when we were kids or something.”

  “You mean destiny?”

  “No. I don’t know what I mean. I’m just being silly and maybe a little cr—”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” I don’t want to think about being or going crazy. Not today, or even tomorrow. I want to enjoy this Sunday on the sea.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way.”

  “Take what the wrong way?”

  “Don’t you—never mind.”

  “Kat, please tell me.”

  “You’ve know Ethan for about a year. But you’ve only been dating a couple of months. Don’t you think it’s a little…?”

  “Rushed.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I agree. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s the second most stubborn man I’ve even know.”

  “Who’s the first?”

  “My d—a friend.”

  “In Maine?”

  I nod as I pull my hair back and into a ponytail.

  My ring catches the sun.

  She grabs my hand. “I must say, girlfriend, that rock is not only the biggest I’ve ever seen, it’s the gorgeousest I’ve ever seen.”

  “Gorgeousest? It that even a word?”

  “I think so.”

  Mark yells to Ethan as he points at something.

  I stand.

  “What do you think?” Mark asks him.

  Ethan shakes his head.

  I join them near the helm and follow their gaze.

  “What do you think?” Mark asks me.

  Something about the seemingly empty and anchored 20ft cruiser doesn’t look right to me. “I think we should check it out.”

  “I agree,” Gary says. “Something feels off.”

  Ethan shakes his head. “No. I’m sure someone is in the cabin sleeping, or messing around, or….”

  I shake my head. “No. We need to check it out. Take us closer, Mark.”

  Ethan frowns my way before he nods the okay to Mark.

  I few minutes later, we pull up to her. I note her name, out of habit I guess. Guilty was painted in cursive on her stern.

  Ethan leaps onto the Guilty and Gary throws him a rope. He grabs it and wraps it around a cleat.

  When the gap between the boats narrow, I jump aboard.

  “And what do you think you’re doing?”